Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and...

By Jesse from - 03/08/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 249

You deserved it 38 993

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Same thing different taste

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 252

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 184

Lee Trevi-not

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 12:07

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 1 524

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 351

You deserved it 34 356

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 7 514

By 2234 - 04/10/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 328

You deserved it 48 482

By xxxdwangelaxxx - 18/04/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 34 641

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 529

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 06:54

Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 167

You deserved it 1 400

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

hawkmcge3 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 16:38

oh no! I couldn't keep a lanyard on ur finger they must hate u now

picklezz123 5

Tuesday 3 August 2010 16:36

whatever not a big deal

Comments

babygrl77110 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:18

wow way to b a freaking dumbass

kombucha_fml 8

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:21

the stupidest fml I EVER read. moderators, why?

MitchellK 3

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:27

obviously there are land mines all over his neighbors yard guys!! fyl totally

stevenmx86 7

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:34

Has anyone ever seen a guy swinging a lanyard and thought "OMG is he cool!"?

tweetbaby14 18

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:32

I have especially when the lanyard says something like "I <3 bingo" or bowling. those guys are just dead sexy and cooler than the other side of the pillow.

lonesomeXheartbr 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:36

hahaha lmfao best fml ever

andreffff 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:37

is it me, or are the FML posts getting more and more lame?

thebamfcountinex 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:37

agree with 53... although for the additional dishonor of "owning a lanyard" and thinking that swinging it around would be "nonchalant"... self-immolation looks like your only shot at saving face.