Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and...

By Jesse from - 03/08/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 249

You deserved it 38 993

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 252

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 184

Lee Trevi-not

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 12:07

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 1 524

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 351

You deserved it 34 356

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 7 514

By 2234 - 04/10/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 328

You deserved it 48 482

By xxxdwangelaxxx - 18/04/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 34 641

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 529

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 06:54

Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 167

You deserved it 1 400

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

hawkmcge3 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 16:38

oh no! I couldn't keep a lanyard on ur finger they must hate u now

picklezz123 5

Tuesday 3 August 2010 16:36

whatever not a big deal

Comments

kbolt88 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:56

This is a new low for FML...This should be on my life is average...How the hell is that a problem...do they have 7 rottweilers waiting to tear your balls off? Hope so..

KelceyLoves 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:03

Oh I absolutely love the giraffe costume. :D

KelceyLoves 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:00

Maybe they saw him as a tool and shoved it down his throat? :D I can't figure out any other explanations...

SoulessRed 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:00

And....

NvUsDistortion 3

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:06

wtf???

dabluedude101 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:09

wow the mods are letting a lot of bs through.

xMaNNiNGx119 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:21

You think your neighbors are gonna be like 'whoa look at him swinging his lanyard around he's so cool!'

GavinRoskamp 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:26

How if your life effed? You threw your keys. Whoo.

imhowie 2

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:34

Ummm...yeah...your life is f*cked because your lanyard went into your neighbors' yard...You should probably just kill yourself now because you'll never be able to live with yourself after that. This is by far, the worst thing that can happen to someone!