Intimacy: Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend....

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 23:14 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 257

You deserved it 17 558

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Same thing different taste

By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 764

You deserved it 8 442

Never touch the Xbox

By Unknown - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 930

You deserved it 15 683

Lower your expectations

By AchievementUnlocked? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 740

You deserved it 6 649

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 868

You deserved it 2 468

Stuck

By canessadawn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 799

You deserved it 2 578

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 360

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 648

You deserved it 8 776

Camouflage

By allbrokeup - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Norway - Stavanger

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 929

You deserved it 3 487

By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 937

You deserved it 3 027

By Anonymous - 03/12/2018 16:00 - United States - Great Barrington

Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 316

You deserved it 557

joefrazier 20

Monday 30 June 2014 9:53

Well... It is the World Cup.

LotsOfConfusion 9

Monday 30 June 2014 9:54

Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!

Comments

Demoniq 25

Monday 30 June 2014 11:06

Oh no! Your partner is not in the mood when you are? He must wonder what that feels like.

Nessco 36

Monday 30 June 2014 11:19

You need to choose your moments when doing this sort of thing.

MoodiQ 8

Monday 30 June 2014 11:27

*4 years

MoodiQ 8

Monday 30 June 2014 11:29

looks like you crossed the line he shouldn't have left you without spraying a line (that white foam) next to the tv

opj77_fml 13

Monday 30 June 2014 11:49

Don't be upset, at least he noticed you. The World Cup is only every 4 years. Go Colombia!!

lexi365 20

Monday 30 June 2014 15:38

Germany!!!

Han1156 23

Monday 30 June 2014 16:07

USA

kittina 22

Monday 30 June 2014 17:31

COSTA RICA!!

arturo_s 10

Monday 30 June 2014 18:03

COLOMBIA!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 30 June 2014 19:12

MARS

fsomelife 26

Monday 30 June 2014 12:15

Well, what did you expect?? It's the World Cup! Furthermore, he's such a gentleman that DESPITE YOU BLOCKING THE WORLD CUP, he complimented you. He's a keeper.

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 30 June 2014 13:03

That's when you go play with yourself and no matter how much he begs you don't let him join you.

klorehore 24

Monday 30 June 2014 13:05

You know your man got a huge interest in football, save yourself the frustration and seduce him between the matches and not during. Its like a test "What do you like more, me or football? " and then feel sorry for yourself when he would rather do it at a more suitable time for him.