Love: Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy...

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By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 890

You deserved it 5 903

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Same thing different taste

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 900

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By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 529

You deserved it 30 937

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 372

You deserved it 1 526

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 228

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 766

You deserved it 2 896

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 67 475

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 508

You deserved it 6 594

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 2 056

By Charly - 05/01/2009 06:16 - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 3 392

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 133

ifuckingrock 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:31

Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.

WhyComplain 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:30

This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!

Comments

satanstoystore 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:58

? this is dumb. ydi for sucking at flirting. how did you even get her?

Witchcraft_fml 4

Tuesday 29 September 2009 17:11

This is how the best Instant Message pornos always begin.

Kofu 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 17:13

Sorry, man, but you need to read between the lines. When she said "Keep talking," she was meaning that she liked it, and wanted to come back to a few more lines of compliments. That, or you're just god-awful at flirting. Compliment something SPECIFIC about her; don't just say that she's hot, you schmuck.

maddog_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:22

What's next? "Keep talking, I have to take a dump"? :/

BreeKnox 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:23

yeah uhm...you do NOT know how to compliment a girl. either she's dumb as hell, or shes frickin ugly. cus if a guy said that to me, i would just take it and not say anything back. maybe she's telling you something...

canucksrule88 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:31

LOLL

Poke_my_mon 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:31

This one time... i was flirting over the internet... and she said she had to sneeze really badly, so she'd be right back.... It was horrible :'( Suck it up, ponty.