By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks 63 994
You deserved it 9 412

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

Comments

dyingstart 0

THIS. You don't even need to buy ben wah balls to do it! Google Kegels and find out how to do them.

mojo4395 0

Seriously, dump the ************ already.

onemusicnote 0

That's when you tell him that he's not nearly big enough to stretch you out at all, and then tell that story to all of your friends.

it only takes 8 mins for that anyways. he's an ass

291togo 0

Offer him your butthole. Or is that too loose?

@ brilliantbarbie: obviously the guy doesnt have a pencil dick if shes so loose...

brilliantbarbie 0

How does that make any sense??? It SHOULD suffice to say that maybe to the pencil dick shes loose...she could in turn be tight to the guy who's hung like a horse. How is that too hard to grasp?? Its not like she decided to take a poll and screw a number of guys and then have them mark down their size and rate her looseness.

too bad epicwinmaster doesn't have a pic. I like to see what someone so stupid looks like.

adelaide_evening 0

You don't think it's an asshole thing to say? HE is the reason it's supposedly so "loose" (which is bull, by the way).

mrda 0

Maybe he was out of Viagra lol

Quite possibly your best comment. You make this site great.