Intimacy: Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on...

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 994

You deserved it 9 412

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Same thing different taste

By sierra.sl31 - 28/07/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 574

You deserved it 16 446

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 1 365

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 12:01 - United States

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 6 767

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 5 301

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 13:58 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 358

You deserved it 6 676

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 721

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 392

You deserved it 8 832

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:22

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

Lackadaisy_Baby 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:23

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

Comments

Guairdean 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:20

Whack his member with a ruler and tell him you did it for him and that it'll swell up and feel tighter. Then dump him, he's an idiot.

mo_the_owl 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:21

try Kegels?

Plumppotato 3

Friday 28 August 2009 0:25

because women are always straight forward. i know its hard to tell over the internet but that was supposed to be sarcastic. it sucks not being able to inject sarcasm into text.

Plumppotato 3

Friday 28 August 2009 0:28

that was supposed to be a reply to someone...

xyourstruly3 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:31

maybe she Had A little to much sex that day w. diff ppl Or this dude junk in HUGE

fmh123 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:44

LOl that was what I was thinking either she is a ***** or he is hung

GriefBacon 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:50

He must not know anything about how a ****** works then.

theta_fml 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:53

Maybe you're just a **** and a little wide.

rentmefor1day 0

Friday 28 August 2009 1:15

yo deserve it, *****

rustyrox 0

Friday 28 August 2009 1:17

jumperdreams 0

Friday 28 August 2009 2:02

hey atleast he's nice about it, some guys can be assholes when they say stuff to their girlfriends. Dont take offense :)

FleshForFantasy 3

Friday 28 August 2009 2:05

Should have replied, "Well, if I wait for your dick to get any bigger then we'd never have sex!" ... But seriously, something doesn't sound right. I agree with #133. For those that said, "she must be wide or huge or a ****" know nothing about vaginas. If she was big then he'd never have sex with her. They were intimate the night before so she should be back to her normal size when she initiated sex.