Love: Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in...

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 189

You deserved it 69 390

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Same thing different taste

By Kaz - 07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 586

You deserved it 50 276

By notonthepavement - 15/02/2016 11:04 - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 743

You deserved it 1 667

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 465

You deserved it 23 831

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 160

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 3 664

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 98

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 19 524

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 713

You deserved it 26 844

Ouch

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 12:41 - United States

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 425

You deserved it 5 199

sodawater19 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:09

how do you not see the window is down? thats more of an FHL for having to wear an eye patch

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

She should poke you in both eyes just for being stupid :[.

Comments

Stay_beautiful 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:25

PWNED!!!! I hope she didn't dump you, because that would be stupid on her part, and pretty immature. Of course she would be mad at first, anyone would, but after awhile, I would just laugh it off. Laughter is the best medicine. YDI though budday!

sarahmolly 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:27

this is more like FHL,but hey,dating a pirate could be fun,right?

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:30

Car windows are rarely that transparent. You didn't notice that you could clearly hear the conversation inside? You definitely deserve it. I think you owe her some lovin after that.

roll_fukng_tide 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:32

pirate girlfriend man. thats terrible. i hope shes hot enough to make up for it :p

Juliexo 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:36

Maybe she should stop "seeing" you. Ha that was lame

Psychofro 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:37

hey hey hey let's put this into perspective how many guys wouldn't have sex with kira knightly in pirates of the carribean?? this could lead to some VERY intersting sex just trying to be positive :) #25 ur awesome

bipolarchipmunk 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:37

you should play this song all day long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLsJyfN0ICU

nautical 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:44

oh wow i bet she loved that.

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:49

All pirates need a 'first mate'. You shoulda got her friend too.

Cerataphora 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:53

when you SNEAK UP to someone's car, you don't walk dead on, you sneak up on the side so they don't have a clear view of you, likewise, you can't see their window being down.