By Dani - 24/01/2012 05:23 - Australia

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

ComTlancy 12

That was a piss-poor effort. Are you feeling a bit flushed? I'll stop the toilet humour now.

123 19
yahoowizard 16

Now if a jellyfish comes out of nowhere and stings your leg, you're set

86 4

Comments

linkinpark98 23

Who the Hell practices pissing outdoors? XD

4 2
annafii 7

...You could buy a shewee? I know it sounds weird but it's been a lifesaver hiking, camping, at festivals, at gay pride...essentially anywhere you'd either have to squat or use a grotty portaloo. People get freaked out by the idea of them but seeing how useful mine has been has made half my friends get one :') Shorter queues and you don't pee on your shoes...I should go into advertising

7 0
idiothater1 4

At least your not a male, which was my first impression, then it would be REALLY embarrassing!

7 1
florido_fml 10

They have this container that you could even aim when you piss or spell out your name in the snow.

0 3
agelouthi 1

Its not easy for a girl peeing in the woods.. However if you plan on hiking more often.. They actually have something for this.. Look up gogirl it's pretty much a funnel for woman to pee standing up.. And don't have to drop your pants either.. Lol it's very odd to use but in the end your shoes and pants are dry.. And if your with guys.. They can be jealous of your detachable penis haha!!

3 1
DocBastard 38

What the...how did you...how old are...I don't even... Someday I'll stop being amazed that my 5-year old is smarter than a lot of the original posters. Today isn't that day.

11 2
rubberduckie94 13

That is exactly what I was thinking Doc. I have hiked and camped all my life without peeing on my shoes while taking squatting to pee. Here is how it is done. Push pants down as far as you can. Separate feet as far apart as you can. Bend at knees, making sure to keep your butt between your legs, and go as low as you can with out hurting yourself or falling. Then no pee will be on your feet.

5 1
GoW_Chick 14

At least he didn't look behind you, and quickly turned his head forward with his eyes wide, and whisper... "Don't look now, but you're attracting wildlife."

4 0
Pelreskovich 11

..the BEARS, they smell the menstruation. ..anyone? No? Okay then..

6 1
GoW_Chick 14

Yeeeeah, no, I think that one isn't going to go well with some, I bet it will be mostly girls too.

1 4
jbsington 8

Great, Ed. Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

2 0
lilacgold 16

The best way to avoid your shoes without having to entirely remove your clothes from one leg in the woods is to find a tree, lean against it, and get into a sitting position. Because a wide stance squat is hard whilst keeping your clothes just around your knees or ankles, and if attempted may result in peeing on your clothes too.

2 0