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IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY. Parents get you stuff for your birthday even after you turn 23, for the most part. My parents get birthday presents from their parents and their in-laws. It's not like he was just like "Mom, get me stuff." And he has a "new place" which I assume he is paying for since his mom wouldn't even help him furnish it, so he's not mooching. That's pretty funny though.
I don't think the fml is in the fact that he needs to pay his way - he obviously was taking steps to do that - but in the fact that when he asked for something for his apartment (most likely when asked what he wanted) he ended up getting a snarky letter with his gift. I'd be upset as well. FYL OP.
Your mom is kind of a bitch.
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I don't mean to be rude, but if you're 23, you should be financially responsible for yourself. YDI.
Give it back to her when she needs a loan.