Love: Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched...

By jobless - 20/01/2009 16:52 - France

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 12 986

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

By hjgjh - 27/04/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 595

You deserved it 23 398

Excuses, excuses

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 02:00

Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 347

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 617

You deserved it 7 746

By KWM - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 138

You deserved it 39 065

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 312

By oops - 19/11/2014 17:03 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 108

You deserved it 8 354

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 3 890

By 20month dry spell - 27/09/2018 03:00

Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 781

You deserved it 1 388

By ImaSneakyNinja - 17/11/2016 02:55 - United States - Madison Heights

Today, I asked a girl that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks out, but immediately got rejected because I'm left handed. I guess I'll leave that part out next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 752

You deserved it 835

infantrygirl 0

Monday 9 February 2009 18:49

Oh, shut up. If you can't stand to be with a girl who has morals, you don't deserve her.

popcorn_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 1:18

it may be hard for some of you to believe but you CAN have a relationship without sex.

Comments

jannie22 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 0:46

53 no they're both slags....

animechick66 1

Saturday 6 August 2011 18:59

Geez get a grip your a lucky one my boyfriend and I have been dating almost two years and I still wont touch his penis so consider yourself lucky asshole

ColCyclone 17

Wednesday 14 September 2011 10:50

You think someone's a ***** if they have sex once in a year? Sex isn't just about pleasure, it's about wanting to take relationships further and being closer with the one you love.

Linaelle 14

Tuesday 27 September 2011 7:41

Wow. You people are so unbelievable. How is having sex with your boyfriend of one year being "loose" and "slutty" ? Talk about respect... So yeah, of course OP should be discussing that with his girlfriend instead of whining on FML, but as some already said, there is no lack of morals in a happy sex-life !

pandacruisn30 3

Monday 10 October 2011 17:44

You must know my boyfriend! We have been dating now almost 4 months and I want to get more physical but he wants to go slow because he doesn't want to rush things and ruin it. It is frustrating to me but I will follow his lead but if I do not get anything after a huge trip after our 7 months togethern then I might make the first move. I am not a **** he will be only the second guy but I want some now!

pandacruisn30 3

Monday 10 October 2011 18:00

I am having an issue like this with my boyfriend. We have been dating for 4 months and we haven't had a proper kiss. Instead of dumping him we have talked it out. He wants to take it slow and not rush things. I will follow his wishes because he makes me happy but if it goes too long without anything then I might have to rethink things. The girlfriend does need to be kept in the loop at all cost so they both can be on the same page. Maybe she wants to find the right time to act or maybe she just doesn't feel like it. Now that i know what real love feels like I wished I had waited to give my virginity to my boyfriend instead of to an older loser who kept promising me things for 8 years. I do not want to be seen as a **** but I would like to give my boyfriend a bj soon just do not know how to breach it to him. Hang in their OP!