Intimacy: Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout...

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By Dooh - 17/01/2012 23:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 115

You deserved it 5 027

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Same thing different taste

Jaded

By not as jacked - 30/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 139

Health kick

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 191

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 711

You deserved it 5 228

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 443

You deserved it 4 655

Leg day

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 02:06

Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 2 783

By Nowajerk - 25/12/2011 01:15 - Australia

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 17 660

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 523

You deserved it 36 037

Side effects

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 23:01 - Netherlands

Today, I’ve been horny for weeks on end. Because I’m on antidepressants, I can’t orgasm, so the horniness won’t go away. The only thing I do is go to the gym, where literally EVERYONE seems fuckable. While I’m not depressed anymore, my vagina is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 184

Work it!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, my man said, "If you get more sore from your workouts than from having sex with me, I’m gonna cry!" Uhm… I do serious weight training, and in bed we both enjoy the missionary position, so… sorry for your ego, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 164

AmyPacheco 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Well I hope you stay loyal

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:47

Ohhhh Shes in for a nice visit ;)

Comments

DangerousGirl91 2

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:53

Well there's this thing on Skype. You two can get it on on camera for each other until she comes back and then you can have her.

20th_century_fox 3

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:10

it blows my mind that no one on here is saying how sweet you are for doing what you're doing, OP. well done, and your girlfriend is so lucky!

AshleyBerrie 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:15

Good luck life.

dawnmarie90 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:58

Skype date!

perdix 29

Wednesday 18 January 2012 20:10

Beat it like it owes you money!

FalconCrunch 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 20:15

Guarantee she's cheating on you, so go out and get some ass, bro.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 18 January 2012 20:22

You're doing this to impress her? Is she the type of girl that needs impressed, or did you just decide to do this on your own? If you have to impress her, that makes her very shallow and you're better off without her. That's the tone I get since you're only doing this to impress her, or so you say. You should be doing it for you, not someone else.

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 20:42

I suggest a web cam, but avoid going for the facial, unless you don't mind cleaning spunk off your electronics...

contedefees 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 20:43

Why is this a problem? All long-distance couples have to deal with the lack of sex, regardless of how horny they are. It's called masturbation, dude, everyone does it.