Money: Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went...

By LC - 03/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 476

You deserved it 7 251

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 19:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 616

You deserved it 5 651

By calebeutsler - 11/09/2011 01:18 - United States

Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 257

You deserved it 14 110

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 08:04 - Canada

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 651

You deserved it 8 357

By Anonymous - 07/03/2014 02:52

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 222

You deserved it 9 340

By loser - 09/05/2011 21:12 - United States

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 721

You deserved it 13 071

By futuregigolo - 22/12/2012 00:11 - United States - Strasburg

Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 979

You deserved it 7 674

By cancerfreak - 21/03/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 603

You deserved it 8 392

By Charitable - 30/06/2014 05:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 8 852

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Danby

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 600

You deserved it 2 728

By Volunteer - 13/09/2013 22:24 - United States - Elwood

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 11 025

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 3 November 2009 12:08

So you're now owned by someone? Isn't slave trading illegal these days?

helluva 1

Tuesday 3 November 2009 12:23

Bahahahah.. 3 bucks, all for the charity eh? At least, people still bidded on you!

Comments

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 0:34

Wait, you can buy people again? *hops on horse and heads off to Michigan*

Man_person 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 0:51

WTF IS THIS?!?! THIS IS SO FAKE IT'S NOT EVEN ******* FUNNY!!! STFU!

mattdaddyryan56 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 1:03

who gives a ******* shit? cry about it you self-centered bastard.

Microsoftfan 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 1:05

"who gives a ******* shit?" Why don't you say that to EVERY goddamn fml on this site, cause there are a lot more FML's like this. Asshole.

kangaroo62 2

Wednesday 4 November 2009 1:42

at least anyone even bought you lol

th_fml 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 1:42

At least it wasn't $2

sababa1 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 3:39

I once tried to sell my brother for a penny. he didnt sell. be glad u did

Flutist 3

Wednesday 4 November 2009 4:30

The best things in life are free But you can give them to the birds and bees I want money You love gives me such a thrill But your love won’t pay my bills I want money Give me your money Just give me money

neihtle 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 4:36

haven't you guys seen white chicks? it's just like that

j0k3r69 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 5:13

damn man people still pay more for a 5$ footlong, thats not good

Flutist 3

Monday 9 November 2009 17:09

If its five dollars for a foot long you still get a deal with a $3 7.2 inch. I am sure whomever bought him is very er... fulfilled...

DarkestSaint 5

Wednesday 4 November 2009 5:59

Contracts, Neckties, HIGH VOLTAGE!!

Keywords

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Today, my 8 year-old sister tried vaping. My parents found out and planned on yelling at her, but nothing happened. She even got a reward for being curious. When I was 15 and got my first piercing (in the ear) I kinda got beat, and slept outside for the night. It makes me wonder what's going on sometimes… FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 84

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 082

You deserved it 410

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Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 721

You deserved it 56 588

Today, I got some news from two colleagues, one of whom just got married for the first time, and the other whose long-time wife was recently diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer. I wrote each of them a heartfelt note, which would've been thoughtful if I hadn't mixed up the recipients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 098

You deserved it 926

Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 740

You deserved it 1 224

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 173

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 505

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 141

Same thing different taste

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