Kids: Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam...

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 287

You deserved it 4 919

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

Snack time

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 606

You deserved it 29 762

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 764

You deserved it 3 170

By Ldp56 - 25/02/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 011

You deserved it 4 610

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 891

You deserved it 5 891

By ohhdear.___. - 26/03/2012 14:54 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 483

You deserved it 5 474

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 23:54 - United Kingdom - Bathgate

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 175

You deserved it 3 772

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 613

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 266

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 777

porcelainkisses 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:09

Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!

GhettoXmuffin 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:10

I'd say eating cocks is more accurate

Comments

missyr0se 2

Sunday 25 December 2011 5:29

Eating packing peanuts gets you high

CurlyQute 17

Sunday 25 December 2011 6:29

Wow some ones stupid....

Ash0 6

Monday 26 December 2011 3:08

Well I hear cotton balls taste just like cotton candy!

cal2541 0

Monday 26 December 2011 6:28

YDI for raising a dumb bitch

Pittcrew 0

Monday 26 December 2011 7:22

Nope, cocks actually.

jenncatherine 0

Monday 26 December 2011 22:14

Sorry, mom.

Volleychick9 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 7:35

you could have walked in on much worse.... be happy that was all!!!

booboo1997 3

Tuesday 27 December 2011 23:04

That's awesome

ladyLALAA 28

Thursday 29 December 2011 3:50

Did you drop her as a baby? Like, surely you would realize that is NOT food.

Thozzy 12

Friday 30 December 2011 22:18

If you start to think about todays youth, that actually sounds legit.

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Relatable Work Mental health Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Sleep Animals Dogs Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 803

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I got called "useless" by my mother for not doing what she wants me to do. She also said that I've accomplished nothing, and that I can’t and never will. It’s barely 10 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 161

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 449

You deserved it 3 483

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 701

You deserved it 33 222

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 295

You deserved it 317

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 44 965

Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 215