Kids: Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and...

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 010

You deserved it 5 516

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Same thing different taste

They grow up so fast these days…

By Katie Howard - 29/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 81

By What the fuck, son? - 11/05/2013 16:21 - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 7 845

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 221

You deserved it 2 384

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

Overreaction

By anonymous - 02/06/2013 05:20 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 722

You deserved it 15 862

Dad jokes

By thefuck - 30/06/2013 22:08 - Ireland - Ballyjamesduff

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 939

You deserved it 3 673

By ishouldhidethekeys - 04/11/2009 08:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 964

You deserved it 4 748

By Anonymous - 02/07/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 859

You deserved it 3 575

By cl3v3l4nd5t34m3r - 04/06/2012 20:34 - United States - Geneva

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 887

You deserved it 4 494

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 2 262

drippingfaucet 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:16

smart kid

ugh_a_lug 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:18

he could lift a pumpkin onto your car?

Comments

samanthasantini 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:45

May I consider putting your sun in special ed?

lori_lovee 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:18

Spank him.

franwins0827 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:27

Well, I hope you punished him good. If not, YDI - children should have a healthy fear of crossing their parents. :-P

Irvman21 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:42

Nothing the back of your hand can't fix.

snowboarder25 0

Monday 1 November 2010 5:05

LMFAO made my day! kids a genius

ahhfuckmylife 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 7:45

some is getting ass beat tonight

princesscece 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 14:06

must have been mad at u

sprinkleitup 3

Thursday 23 June 2011 3:15

u need better parenting skills geese!!

zacharyhaer 0

Friday 16 September 2011 5:13

Kick his ass?

pyemeister23 1

Monday 14 November 2011 20:41

Oh kids these days...

Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 132

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 454

You deserved it 2 267

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 131

Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 1 051

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 221

You deserved it 8 174

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 249

You deserved it 3 384

Today, I delivered a bottle of alcohol to my crush, since I finished her bottle a few nights ago. Turns out, they'd caught my friend and I talking about giving her backshots on their Ring doorbell footage. She brought it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 637

Same thing different taste

They grow up so fast these days…

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Dad jokes

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