Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while...

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 557

You deserved it 7 958

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Same thing different taste

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 347

You deserved it 12 941

By kingkobrastrikes - 21/01/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 517

You deserved it 20 540

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 390

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 7 568

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 554

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 006

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 674

You deserved it 29 302

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 316

You deserved it 730

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 312

You deserved it 6 070

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 010

catatonicsleep 17

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:12

My dog does that, it's funny..

maybe_tomorrow 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:13

Nothing like a loud PARP to wake you from your slumber xD

Comments

Action_Batch 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 13:28

More like copied from Good Will Hunting. Still hilarious. I bet all four of your cheeks were red.

PokeyStix 3

Tuesday 11 August 2009 18:18

LOL

nigguhplease 1

Monday 8 November 2010 6:46

ha ha. nice. I like.

sbstar2017 8

Saturday 22 December 2012 23:07

Best. Movie. Ever

seroose 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 13:40

10-4 Evan... you wish you were that cool!!

aback 4

Tuesday 11 August 2009 13:56

Remember that for when you're tempted to doze off during business meetings.

stfunubcake 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 14:23

copied from family guy wow

hippityhopp 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 21:11

Just because something happened in a show does not mean that it cannot happen in real life.

bornkiller66 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:01

lol I have the same problem!!! except that I hump the pillow while I'm sleeping....which is worse!!!

shostakovich 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:02

loltastic!

plexico 3

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:07

The jokes on them -- it was really a SHART.

trulyinsane 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:18

was someone digging here? the sand is starting to turn brown!

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:21

Lmfao this FML is epic

andlifesuxagain 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:47

Way to go Jupiter

Hahawowurlifesux 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:56

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha rofl this just totally made my day! I added this to my favs =)

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The Top

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, I watched the new Fallout series, which was pretty good… except for the fact that Ella Purnell looks a lot like my ex. Now it’s 6 a.m., hours before I have to wake up, and I can't keep myself from crying. I broke up with this girl for a number of reasons which seem somewhat valid now, but I regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 314

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 039

You deserved it 5 994

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 6 263

Today, a few weeks after my ex dumped me and I'd just started to get over it, she asked me to get her pregnant. We had sex once within the year we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 165

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 343

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 477

Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

Threat Neutralized

Alarm

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