Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very...

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 2 866

By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 080

You deserved it 3 918

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 179

You deserved it 7 690

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 27 545

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 437

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 141

You deserved it 3 867

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 950

You deserved it 1 753

machiko_fml 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:07

He beat you to it. Should've said "Ew, gross Dad!"

perdix 29

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:38

"Thanks for trying to cover it up, Dad, but I queefed!" Nobody would believe your denial, so making it grosser is the way to go.

Comments

U_Go_Boom 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:33

FTW!

perdix 29

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:38

"Thanks for trying to cover it up, Dad, but I queefed!" Nobody would believe your denial, so making it grosser is the way to go.

SirEBC 7

Tuesday 18 January 2011 17:10

Thank you for successfully nauseating me.

FMLephant 2

Tuesday 18 January 2011 18:10

A foul queef would need medical attention.

princess_patches 2

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:50

hahaha thats something my father would do

Prolusive 5

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:53

Good onya dad!

mea_iloveskiing 26

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:54

they probably passed out few seconds later, so they wouldn't remember, don't worry =)

rencegoh 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:56

OWNED.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 18 January 2011 17:03

Dad: That was my daughter. OP: *passes out* Dad: Shit...medic!

dark_path 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 18:23

not funny :l

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:48

I'm not sure I would take humour advice from someone whose profile pic is a girl with an ejaculating penis drawn on her shoulder. If that's your sense of humour, you clearly aren't my target audience. Cheers.