Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 02:35 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 505

You deserved it 2 376

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By dontrapeme - 26/09/2012 10:30 - United States

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 1 945

By gtfb1993 - 02/12/2011 22:21 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 688

You deserved it 42 486

Smooth move

By nicole - 27/05/2011 20:52 - United States

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 348

You deserved it 78 696

By banana - 04/02/2009 20:20 - United States

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 068

You deserved it 8 698

Commando

By Bareital - 03/12/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the same day I decided to stubbornly go commando because my lazy boyfriend hasn’t taken his turn to do our laundry in 4 days was also the day I split my shorts squatting down to pick up my bag at the bus stop. Ten strangers saw my bare asscrack, and two teenagers started cat calling me for my butt tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 1 498

We're the main characters

By GymHunky - 03/11/2021 11:00

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 094

You deserved it 6 142

Love Will Tear our T-shirt Apart

By Jeremy - 12/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 460

By sofargone420 - 29/07/2011 14:27 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 608

You deserved it 10 525

Cougar

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 02:08 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 98

Dweron93 5

Saturday 19 May 2012 6:13

Don't drop the soap

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 19 May 2012 6:19

One of my exes was made into a prison bitch... NOT a pleasant experience.

Comments

noisebox 1

Monday 21 May 2012 8:05

Well you know, he's definitely a butt blaster

Annebear 6

Tuesday 22 May 2012 5:02

Run.

kitsune3 20

Friday 25 May 2012 22:16

Oh shit. XD

sketchmaster7 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 3:51

Good thing you're at the laundromat in case you pissed your pants.

bebekinza 5

Thursday 19 July 2012 21:44

LMFAOOOOOO!!! aw mannnnn

TheFinnishFlash 5

Tuesday 30 July 2013 7:13

U must feel special....

fantasyworld 37

Wednesday 10 December 2014 2:05

Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that there are types of shirts out there called "wife beaters"?

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 9 289

The Top

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 316

You deserved it 7 438

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 553

You deserved it 17 596

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 881

You deserved it 2 628

Today, I went to the cafeteria at work like I usually do, but couldn't find anything I liked. Turns out there's a new policy in place: the cafeteria is now serving only vegan foodstuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 131

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 789

You deserved it 4 058

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187