Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 02:35 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 505

You deserved it 2 376

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Same thing different taste

By dontrapeme - 26/09/2012 10:30 - United States

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 1 945

By gtfb1993 - 02/12/2011 22:21 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 688

You deserved it 42 486

Smooth move

By nicole - 27/05/2011 20:52 - United States

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 348

You deserved it 78 696

By banana - 04/02/2009 20:20 - United States

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 068

You deserved it 8 698

Commando

By Bareital - 03/12/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the same day I decided to stubbornly go commando because my lazy boyfriend hasn’t taken his turn to do our laundry in 4 days was also the day I split my shorts squatting down to pick up my bag at the bus stop. Ten strangers saw my bare asscrack, and two teenagers started cat calling me for my butt tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 1 498

We're the main characters

By GymHunky - 03/11/2021 11:00

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 094

You deserved it 6 142

Love Will Tear our T-shirt Apart

By Jeremy - 12/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 460

By sofargone420 - 29/07/2011 14:27 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 608

You deserved it 10 525

Cougar

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 02:08 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 98

Dweron93 5

Saturday 19 May 2012 6:13

Don't drop the soap

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 19 May 2012 6:19

One of my exes was made into a prison bitch... NOT a pleasant experience.

Comments

chokefrantic 9

Saturday 19 May 2012 7:48

Just be grateful he was wearing more than a thong.

merryhappy1887 20

Saturday 19 May 2012 7:53

Hahahaha I'm sorry but I find that hilarious

eoko 12

Saturday 19 May 2012 8:09

Oh dude. I moderated this one.

martinv19 6

Saturday 19 May 2012 8:37

Remind me not to do laundry at that laundromat!

xxblmpknxx 10

Saturday 19 May 2012 11:17

Don't forget: Do not do laundry at that laundromat!

jeezlebauckle 0

Saturday 19 May 2012 8:44

Thats why i made sure to have my own washer and dryer

teenmob4life 1

Saturday 19 May 2012 9:12

"Make your daddy talk"

MissAmz 7

Saturday 19 May 2012 11:18

I... I'd be very scared. O.O

DURPINATOR3000 6

Saturday 19 May 2012 13:25

You can be bitch number 3

shaggan 6

Saturday 19 May 2012 13:45

Tell him you got a gun and smoke crack works ever time

nictransitglory 4

Saturday 19 May 2012 13:55

At least now you know that you have a pretty mouth.

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of five years has been cheating on me with other women from all the hickeys and scratch marks he has. But to top it off, he's slowly been moving out for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 247

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 12 851

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 932

You deserved it 2 258

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 4 656

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 9 320

Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 668

You deserved it 2 670

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 177

You deserved it 4 187