Love: Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out,...

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 231

You deserved it 4 773

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 631

You deserved it 19 527

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 748

You deserved it 7 568

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 839

You deserved it 333

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 757

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 937

You deserved it 5 523

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 1 805

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 342

You deserved it 2 365

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 935

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 101

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 308

Kimienxtc 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:42

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..."

Julle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:39

Hysterics as in laughing? or did she get mad? I hope not, it's a fun story :P

Comments

shorty311_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 5:37

that is hilarious hahahahah

skitz 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 7:03

rofl, #16 made this FML even more hilarious!

ShadowMystika 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 7:19

I don't get it. You would have to be helping her from the front to be able to fall forward and smash your face into her **** or w/e. In which case upon tripping from walking backward, you would fall back and not forward anyway. The physics behind this makes this FML not very believable. On that note, it's good for a laugh anyway.

footer35 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 8:14

people like #37 truely do take the fun out of FML.com FYL for that comment buddy....

dwang4 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 8:53

hahahaha #37 this isnt grammar school ^_^ lighten up

ThatsAli3 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:16

you didn't deserve this. but it was very funny = )

heeystefi_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:44

woah easy there 37.

swims_club_daily 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 20:35

bwahahahhahaahahha

Seegtease 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 22:38

What? I'm not being a grammar nazi. I don't care of the OP says "your" when they should say "you're". THOSE critics are the grammar police. I'm talking about a word that if used improperly can change the whole meaning of the sentence. Is it so much to request that FMLs be written so the meaning is obvious?