Miscellaneous: Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let...

By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 074

You deserved it 3 914

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 567

You deserved it 41 809

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 159

You deserved it 3 831

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 2 859

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1 383

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 174

You deserved it 7 683

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 627

You deserved it 303

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 042

You deserved it 3 414

People of Walmart

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 22:00

Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 259

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 122

You deserved it 27 538

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 639

You deserved it 5 064

ILoveEggnog 7

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:11

I always claim my farts.

SmelloJello 9

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:24

After your mom stopped chewing you out, u shoulda just farted in her face and giggled.

Comments

Alekyork 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:47

Guy....WIN.

mante_fml 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:52

there should be an lmfao section on fml. this belongs there

fueledbymusic234 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:55

what a dooosh!

Crazy4Christ 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:56

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha!!!!

rocketeer_97 1

Thursday 19 May 2011 7:29

your picture kind of scares me .....

Schlimpikins 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:02

Think of it like this, while she was chewing you out, it probably got in her mouth... gross..

ronnieboo 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 17:07

gave her sumthin 2 chew on... lmao

iTyler 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:03

that sucks

fmart 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:07

you gotta be smurfin me!

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:09

lol wow and he is REALLY disgusting and immature

hansbaby 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:15

wow your mom is a bitch

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:20

this whole thread is about smirfs. i have that picture too!

Keywords

Dogs Animals Cute Roommate Food Work Miscellaneous Parents Health Painful Kids Ironic Management Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Love First Dates Poopoo peepee Family Cheating Intimacy Sexting Relatable Students Confused Lonely Relationship advice Break-ups My ex

The Top

Today, yet another guy friend-zoned me for being overweight when I asked him to hang out. I have Hashimoto's disease and it’s really hard for me to lose weight. I eat decently and take 20 minute walks daily. I wish I could go to an island where less superficial jerks lived so I can have a chance at love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 303

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 775

You deserved it 10 175

The Top

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 242

You deserved it 3 935

Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 557

You deserved it 3 684

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 288

You deserved it 6 257

Today, after being excited and trying to make plans with all my friends, they all turned out to be busy. After watching Netflix most of the night, I check my Snapchat stories only to see them all hanging out without me at one of their houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 351

You deserved it 868

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 355

You deserved it 2 749

Today, I realized my girlfriend was taking my pain meds from my shoulder surgery. She says it shouldn't hurt after 2 days. I don't have any left and can't get a refill for a week. She took them just for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 058

You deserved it 446