Miscellaneous: Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let...

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By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 088

You deserved it 3 918

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 575

You deserved it 41 822

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 176

You deserved it 3 836

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 192

You deserved it 2 867

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 461

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 187

You deserved it 7 696

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 656

You deserved it 324

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 055

You deserved it 3 425

People of Walmart

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 22:00

Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 264

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 132

You deserved it 27 559

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 659

You deserved it 5 068

ILoveEggnog 7

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:11

I always claim my farts.

SmelloJello 9

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:24

After your mom stopped chewing you out, u shoulda just farted in her face and giggled.

Comments

llCHR15ll 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:31

WOW, have you been sucking that smurfs... willy?

ChantelRenaeee 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:40

fart in his face and give him pinkeye.

abceasyas123abc 12

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:46

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

stronghand0331 17

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:09

I think a queef would make a much better statement. Also, it would induce a far worse pink eye.

ChantelRenaeee 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 7:41

way to ruin the moment.

xtacticalswarmx 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:42

Emo? What do you classify as emo? Sorry for the double post btw.

issoz 10

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:42

He wins, you lose.

annagurl7854 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 3:14

disslikeee .!(;

quazimozart 19

Wednesday 5 October 2016 14:01

You could always just press the button instead of commenting

spazmattic 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:43

"papa smurf can I lick yo ass? yeah lick my ass bitch!"

Hotlanta 5

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:44

that would actually be hilarious. I would bust a gut laughing so hard if I saw that happen lol

shaniecerb 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:46

scan-do-lous

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:47

Don't try and lie to us as well, OP. If these farts were as "vicious" as you claim, someone else would have heard them. You can't fool us, shame on you.

geeksaresexy 18

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:14

Mine are silent but deadly!

xtacticalswarmx 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:48

I'm not, it was just hilarious. Lol

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:52

sorry you had an encounter with the 'dog dunnit guy'. I had a similar incident with him years back, but I was at a Don Jose Mexican restruant. i was so embarrassed!