Miscellaneous: Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check...

By Sam_Licker81 - 19/11/2009 16:41 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 807

You deserved it 6 696

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 523

You deserved it 15 620

I've got blisters on my fingers

By Owie - 09/11/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 111

By roadbikemama - 25/10/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 268

You deserved it 11 135

By angelamegan21 - 28/05/2014 20:33 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 584

You deserved it 6 112

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 6 690

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 481

You deserved it 9 614

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 888

You deserved it 4 468

Hazardous

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 271

You deserved it 2 507

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 201

By bballer4_life - 14/12/2016 23:22 - United States - Erie

Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 907

You deserved it 905

perdix 29

Thursday 19 November 2009 23:13

West coast redneck. The physics of this story is somewhat dubious if you are using a normal oven. Do not bake cookies in an iron smelter!

lissn 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 23:11

First I thought "YDI" but then again I'd burn myself for some cookies So, FYL. :P

Comments

sharond23 10

Saturday 20 January 2018 0:05

bullshit unless you were using a frigging kiln something.

randybryant799 20

Wednesday 28 July 2021 1:12

You were baking cookies at what temperature? I have never heard of that happening to anyone.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Public freakouts Awkward Health Relatable Concert Music Clumsy Work Love Scams Lonely Embarrassing Management Sex Ironic Moving home Cheating Relationship advice Birthday Kids Hair Fire Accident Cute Transportation Snow Cars Solitude Confused

The Top

Today, and ever since my dad had to give up his rented office space, he now works on his equations on a big whiteboard where the dining room table used to be. He’s also one of those weirdos who can only concentrate properly without his pants on. The horrors I’ve seen several times already… FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 149

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 537

You deserved it 15 219

The Top

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 346

You deserved it 2 577

Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 950

You deserved it 224

Today, I realized my reflection in the subway window wasn’t just my reflection - it was an actual person sitting outside the train, making the same face as me. We both jumped when we locked eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 97

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 692

You deserved it 3 763

Today, I overheard my parents discussing their divorce. Apparently, what they mostly disagree over is that neither of them want custody of me and are considering delaying their divorce until I’m 18, because at least then legally I’m not either of their problem to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 170

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 129

You deserved it 20 832