Miscellaneous: Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked...

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By um... what the fuck, miss? - 02/08/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 811

You deserved it 6 146

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 591

You deserved it 2 881

By speechless - 01/06/2013 00:50 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 122

You deserved it 6 094

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 2 597

Thanks for sharing

By uni life - 15/05/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 228

You deserved it 2 854

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 570

You deserved it 10 551

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 265

You deserved it 4 837

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 708

You deserved it 3 520

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 880

You deserved it 6 560

Helper Blues

By Fat and Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Palmdale

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 217

You deserved it 1 503

Thanks, I guess…

By unsatisfied - 09/03/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 384

You deserved it 4 433

AllegroRubato 16

Saturday 3 August 2013 0:32

Veteran of a thousand wars.

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 3 August 2013 0:32

Well clearly she's no stranger to home made pickles...

Comments

natywantspeace 7

Wednesday 14 August 2013 6:01

My response face would have proven to her she had it wrong. Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww eww eww ew

Laxoxo224 8

Friday 16 August 2013 5:49

She must be depressed and single.

cxex 23

Sunday 18 August 2013 17:58

Badass old lady!

lotusenta 14

Sunday 25 August 2013 9:26

them old people have really run out of ***** to give

kasheahockey 8

Sunday 27 July 2014 2:08

Atleast you got some pretty good advice for when you're.... Ummmm lonely....

bazookajoey 27

Saturday 16 August 2014 20:44

Go grandma!

deltoren 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 4:22

I would laugh my ass off

aaronriver 7

Thursday 12 February 2015 4:02

Meoww

daemonsparta 16

Thursday 23 April 2015 10:28

kinky

thatguynamedsky 32

Saturday 30 May 2015 9:59

its ok #11 being downvoted in the hundreds is actually better than being upvoted in the thousands, as we get to click to see how stupid the message is before being able to read it