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By Keladrylady - 18/04/2015 00:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 210
You deserved it 3 527

Keladrylady tells us more.

Keladrylady 24

OP here, My bf happened to be half asleep and as such is rather blond when so. (So no, he doesn't need sex ed as it has little to do with this topic per say). Him squeezing me whilst on my period has been a discussion point over the 6yrs we've been together, as yes, if done right, literally (TMI) squeezes out (insert words) and I really hate it, (guys, think of it as similar feeling to wetting yourself accidentally, it's a really yuck feeling). Thanks though for your comments and FYL's. :3 you've made us both laugh til our cheeks were sore. So again Thanks.

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Top comments

Calingaladha 21

Obviously that wouldn't work. You have to smack the bottom until it all comes out.

410 5
Mynamewontfi 40

If your boyfriend honestly thought that would work, he is obviously not an Heinzstein... (sorry, that was terrible)

323 3

Comments

Steve95401 49

Was his sex education class in school sponsored by Heinz Ketchup?

10 1
candygirl2015 12

Lol he's funny

0 1
happypenguins 24

If only it were that easy! Woman hood sucks!!

10 0
Exaspera 54

Must have taken one of those sex ed classes in a red state.

3 4
Rosebudx 32

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, I mentioned always being extra tired the first five or six days of my period because I had to get up and change out materials a few times during the night, and he looked at me like I was insane. "But rosebudx, periods stop at nighttime! You need to go to the doctor!" ...I kinda wish he was right.

10 1
ziggysmommy201 10

The FIRST five or six days????? Bless your heart.

7 1
blackonblight 32

Wait, first five or six, as in you have significantly longer than five days? Dear gods.

7 2
mikbrooke 25

until i went on the pill, my period could last up to ten days or more.

6 0
Rosebudx 32

When I was a kiddo, my periods lasted for about very heavy 17 days and my cycle was only 24 total days. I evened it out a lot with the pill, but it usually goes for 10-12 days with the first half being heavy. Now the pill causes me to get incredibly depressed, so this is as good as it shall get.

4 0
Keladrylady 24

OP here, My bf happened to be half asleep and as such is rather blond when so. (So no, he doesn't need sex ed as it has little to do with this topic per say). Him squeezing me whilst on my period has been a discussion point over the 6yrs we've been together, as yes, if done right, literally (TMI) squeezes out (insert words) and I really hate it, (guys, think of it as similar feeling to wetting yourself accidentally, it's a really yuck feeling). Thanks though for your comments and FYL's. :3 you've made us both laugh til our cheeks were sore. So again Thanks.

47 7
blackonblight 32

Oh, gods. So it's abdominal pressure forcing the fluid out in a disgusting splurt. That's got to be about as bad as the morning waterfall. And of course, then you get to marinate in your own blood, how pleasant. If only that -did- hurry things up. Would at least give a reason.

81 1
dragoongirl90 34

Why not just do anal?

10 88
Keladrylady 24

Haha, he's very strong and we're young, so of course ideas come up all the time. He's a known bear-hugger and so over the years he's learnt to how to do it in a not painful way for me (I have constant back aches so it does help), hence the whole squeezing idea. :/ So it's truly ok on the whole.

15 2
Keladrylady 24

We do. XD However periods are hella messy and make me feel utterly disgusting. :3

13 4
HnyBee13 26

Just get a mattress cover and "special" black sheets or hop in the shower. You might not be in the mood at first, but it helps a hell of a lot with cramps. Of course, my bf knows for that week that I love my heating pad more than anything else in the world...

8 1