Love: Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night...

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 916

You deserved it 10 325

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 920

You deserved it 6 674

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 296

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 699

You deserved it 11 368

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 886

You deserved it 7 259

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 23 218

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 992

You deserved it 4 322

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 672

You deserved it 4 572

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 2 034

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 393

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 7 095

bonafidehustler 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:10

Yeah, this would definitely be way funnier from her perspective.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:30

Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.

Comments

j1026 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 1:20

I'm with 43. I didn't think that bad breath could make you throw up ... shoot from now on after you drink jus brush your teeth like you're supposed to do before you go to bed anyways

NGM_KID 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 1:23

ummm......#43, go and smell a bag of shit and tell me you wont want to vomit :) But this, however, was bad breath so I see what you're saying. OP- That just plain sucks...

proud_liberal 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 1:24

Alcoholic! She should leave you now. You are addicted! Get help before you molest a small child! You are sick!!!!

123_asdfghjkl 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 1:36

Well first of all, you must have a weak stomach or her breath must have been really rancid, because puking is a little extreme. Also, if you were drinking the night before, even if her breath smelt fine, you still could have puked from the smell. Maybe you should tell her to brush her teeth before talking to you from now on.