Love: Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night...

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 916

You deserved it 10 325

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
When technology meets shopping, expect stories as surprising as an unexpected click! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 920

You deserved it 6 674

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 296

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 699

You deserved it 11 368

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 886

You deserved it 7 259

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 23 218

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 992

You deserved it 4 322

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 672

You deserved it 4 572

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 2 034

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 393

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 7 095

bonafidehustler 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:10

Yeah, this would definitely be way funnier from her perspective.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:30

Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.

Comments

shiat 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:39

HAHA!

hlks 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:47

morningbreath is a bitch :(

WomboCombo 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 22:30

Women with bad breath is ******* disgusting. If that shit happened to me I would throw up in her face and say you don't like the smell of garbage in your face why would you put it in mine? ******* disgusting. How hard is it to brush and floss 3 times a day. Mouth wash even. ******* mind blowing. She has to be trashy as ****.

catastrophicxJLC 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 23:08

shouldnt SHE be the one writing this?

3sec 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 23:20

did she drink with you?

Fy0urlife 0

Monday 25 May 2009 1:10

LOL thats fking nasty man NASTY think about that next time ur kissing her. LMAO

finnaaas 0

Monday 25 May 2009 2:15

That's ******* sadd. FYL. (:

CareBear0018 0

Monday 25 May 2009 2:42

Don't drink that much.

Jurples 0

Monday 25 May 2009 3:21

#86, I don't think that he could help barfing, he had a hangover. Sometimes, when you're hungover, you puke, and can't really help it. Chances are, he would have puked anyways. And, chances also are that neither of them brushed their teeth before they went to bed, them being so drunk.