Cars, Accident and Animals: Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving...

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 51 776

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Same thing different taste

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 13 364

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 902

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 744

You deserved it 8 415

By Bambi - 12/08/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 197

You deserved it 46 190

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 3 639

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 202

Time for a BBQ

By Anonymous - 17/05/2019 13:59

Today, my friend hit a bird with her car. She asked me to get it off for her, so I reluctantly complied. It came off. In pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 209

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 345

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 3 416

donkey79 0

Friday 15 June 2012 15:21

Unless you are a pirate then driving with a parrot on your shoulder is not allowed.

white16sox 19

Friday 15 June 2012 15:22

So, you got bitch slapped by a parrot?

Comments

olpally 32

Friday 15 June 2012 19:21

Lmao, Good one 53... Family guy reference ftw!!! :D

noisebox 1

Friday 15 June 2012 19:25

Polly want a car accident?

Loegi 8

Friday 15 June 2012 19:28

thats just very very stupid!!! Lucky no one got hurt!!

lonelyharts86 8

Friday 15 June 2012 19:37

YDI, and I'm glad you learned your lesson without hurting anyone.

stevenmx86 7

Friday 15 June 2012 20:19

GOOD you dumb ass! You're lucky you didn't hit anyone else!

Octwo 16

Friday 15 June 2012 20:22

If women ever want to get rid of their bad driving stereotypes, they need to curb this apparent instinct to slam on their brakes and swerve wildly any time something surprises them.

runnamuk 6

Friday 15 June 2012 21:25

Actually it seems as if OP might have been better served had she slammed on her brakes. Regardless, the hazardous driving of OP is not a result of her being a woman, but because she was stupid enough to have her pet loose in the car. Perhaps women will be able to ditch the stereotype of being bad drivers when chauvinists stop referencing their gender as a factor in the bad driving. Some women are bad drivers, some men are too, but those bad drivers don't necessarily speak for their entire gender. Tell yourself this next time you want to profile someone, "coincidental correlation should not be confused as causation." Aka, because some women drivers are bad drivers does not mean they are bad because they're women.