Intimacy: Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and...

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 617

You deserved it 8 230

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 355

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 153

You deserved it 5 978

Hello? Hello?

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 4 092

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 2 891

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 260

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 772

You deserved it 15 178

By Sleepy head - 07/10/2013 01:34 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 769

You deserved it 15 045

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 355

You deserved it 28 340

ILoveEggnog 7

Monday 18 April 2011 9:25

I think it's because she doesn't suck in bed.

hwilly 0

Monday 18 April 2011 9:05

Damn, next time your on top ha

Comments

xxjimmyboixx 0

Monday 18 April 2011 14:29

sounds like the only way u got him in bed is either drugs or alcohol

ifiFaLL 1

Monday 18 April 2011 14:44

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

azcarate 0

Monday 18 April 2011 15:02

Dang that just sucks all together.

reddwarf_fml 0

Monday 18 April 2011 15:07

compliment????

lolwutdino 9

Monday 18 April 2011 15:44

Mindfuck?;D

KickItHigh 32

Monday 18 April 2011 15:45

Because it does. :P

lmaoatall 6

Monday 18 April 2011 15:46

why are you complaining? he stayed didn't he? I would have taken that as a complement.

Blue_Barbie 0

Monday 18 April 2011 15:50

So much for being the man of ur dreams!!

thatyngboyryan 1

Monday 18 April 2011 16:01

lol he the one dreaming not

ceddyz17 10

Monday 18 April 2011 16:05

drunk sex?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

Today, I slept maybe fifteen hours. I'm supposed to be getting better but I'm not sure if I am and that scares the hell out of me. My room is a mess and I'm hungry. Maybe if i just get one sweet kiss, I'll be alright. I'm trying. I think? I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like there's something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, I’m convinced my mother in law comes over every holiday just to make me miserable. She comes in, criticizes me food, snarks then ignores the kids. I dread every holiday and spend it getting drunk and casting F-you glances at my husband. Is it wrong to buy her a casket for the next holiday? Is it really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 168

Today, I got the hiccups during an exam. I wasn't allowed to leave to get a drink of water, so I had to sit there and take my test while hiccuping violently. The teacher ended up sending me to the hall and ripping up my test for "distracting the other students". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 527

You deserved it 231

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 186

Today, after 6 years of dating, 2 years of marriage, a daughter and another one on the way, my husband decided that he’s "not the one for me" and told me he was leaving for his co-worker who he’s only known for a few months. Apparently they’re more "meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 341

Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 050

You deserved it 1 688

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 823

You deserved it 7 234