Intimacy: Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first...

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 250

You deserved it 34 503

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Same thing different taste

By gjh - 19/01/2009 03:20 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 13 393

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 762

You deserved it 62 040

Time consumed

By unendowed - 18/03/2012 02:11 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 414

You deserved it 11 700

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 3 264

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 929

You deserved it 5 364

By mortified - 22/01/2011 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 55 377

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 5 316

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 411

You deserved it 5 234

By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 979

You deserved it 12 243

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 569

You deserved it 7 504

yeezheng 6

Saturday 19 November 2011 16:23

I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.

maddy23a 5

Saturday 19 November 2011 16:17

Nice one ace

Comments

Zannanana 18

Sunday 20 November 2011 14:11

Nother1 you're so stupid.

Krazygye 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 14:14

such a troll. this would never happen

deequu 20

Sunday 20 November 2011 14:44

That's not romantic, that's kinky... :/

liftedyoda 5

Sunday 20 November 2011 14:52

Make her shave

hammingtonrhys 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 15:49

This was someones elses

piwikiwi93 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 16:07

How frick'n old are you?

kstill124 1

Sunday 20 November 2011 16:25

how old are you?

hottiebody11 1

Sunday 20 November 2011 17:47

Thats so gross!!! But mabey you should have done something suddel like roses!

nihaoma 3

Sunday 20 November 2011 17:57

Tell her to make sure she does some weekly landscaping

polkadot3155 6

Sunday 20 November 2011 18:01

I feel worse for her... ouchhh.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 163

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

The Top

Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 232

Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 503

You deserved it 1 706

Today, after years of struggling with poor mental health, my depression convinced me that no one would ever care enough about me to help if I reached out. I called the local suicide hotline anyway. They didn’t answer. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 130

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 690

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that even though, yes, I’m Polish and, yes, my family’s from Poland, that, no, we’re not from The North Pole. We’re not from Antarctica either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 128

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 590

You deserved it 10 484

Same thing different taste

Time consumed

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