Intimacy: Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get...

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 05:32 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 254

You deserved it 19 007

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 557

You deserved it 6 703

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 653

You deserved it 20 285

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 26 145

Spotted

By Username - 07/03/2010 17:41 - France

Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 933

You deserved it 3 535

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 914

You deserved it 58 635

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 545

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 017

You deserved it 4 097

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 439

You deserved it 5 477

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 903

You deserved it 14 850

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 249

You deserved it 486

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 24 January 2014 15:59

Some lucky 6-year-old is going to get a bear AND balloons...

Jdb60 5

Friday 24 January 2014 15:58

That's gonna be a nice surprise.

Comments

cnparks1990 9

Friday 24 January 2014 21:27

5ml means that they posted it on fmls 5th birthday

whodat32 4

Friday 24 January 2014 22:54

Normally it is stuffed with a heart

nk94 13

Friday 24 January 2014 22:59

Why would you hide them in a teddy bear exactly?

happyfingers 15

Friday 24 January 2014 23:18

... You hid condoms.... In... A teddy bear.... You sir, are an idiot. If you feel the need to "hide" them you should at least put them near where the sex is to be taking place, no? :P

rockydify 22

Friday 24 January 2014 23:40

Maybe you should keep your condoms in your bedroom ... you know, like a normal person. Hope the other person/s had some!

Tymaster5 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 0:18

Well if the kid is smart he will grow up using protection instead of having his first kid at the age of 14

Elfkid21 19

Saturday 25 January 2014 0:19

I SERIOUSLY JUST G.O.L.!!! GASPED OUT LOAD!!!! Oh my gosh that is HHHHHOOOOORRRRRRRRIIIIIIBBBLLLLLEEEEEE!!!! BUT, you marron, WHO IN THE #3|| puts condoms INSIDE IF A TEDDY BEAR!!!!!!???? Creepy weirdo!!! XP

expectcriticism 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 0:46

random little kid: "mommy I found balloons in my bear!"

TheNewGuy03 28

Saturday 25 January 2014 1:19

You made your condoms virtually inaccessible ... in the basement, inside of a stuffed animal. I guess you gotta improvise or hope she's got protection.