Love: Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me...

By vagina dentata for christmas, pls - 25/01/2013 18:51 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 777

You deserved it 5 050

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Same thing different taste

To each his own

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Absecon

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 423

You deserved it 4 905

By WasZumTeufel? - 01/01/2013 00:55 - Germany - Kabel

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 3 926

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 443

You deserved it 11 014

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 650

You deserved it 4 163

By Bailyboo - 26/01/2012 23:50 - United States

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 173

You deserved it 4 767

By noooo - 08/08/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 033

You deserved it 2 710

By Lizofsmeg - 11/05/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 223

You deserved it 3 227

By Anonymous - 22/10/2012 03:19 - United States

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 250

You deserved it 5 172

By MaydayManic - 10/08/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 080

You deserved it 5 048

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 946

You deserved it 780

renaee 13

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

*Shudders* In this case I wouldn't want to know what went on behind closed doors...

ghirahim 5

Friday 25 January 2013 23:22

LOL at op's name ! But that's seriously creepy...

Comments

xmaximusx 12

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:20

Weird0

chottu 16

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:34

Did he leave a pair of scissors out?

Toucanjake 10

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:50

It puts the lotion in the basket...

kel_paige 2

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:53

It's not rape, it's a struggle snuggle.

I3eefChowFun 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 3:40

That's when you pull out a giant ***** and say "I'm glad you're ready for this."

AriSwagg 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 3:56

Haha!! Funniest FML all day

lowshadows 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:27

I feel so guilty for laughing at this.

wvcheesehead1 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:46

Maybe he's just an aspiring rapper who does not know how to spell. Maybe you can help.

bookworm713 14

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:03

Wait, wasn't this in 50 Shades of Grey?

meagann01 4

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:14

Run for your life.

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Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 879

You deserved it 5 546

Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 54

The Top

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 573

You deserved it 6 880

Today, after working out at the gym, I accidentally left my towel in my locker. Since it was early, I didn't mind walking to the showers naked. After showering, I couldn't get my lock to open, leaving me stuck trying to open the locker totally naked, as the locker room filled up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 049

You deserved it 3 349

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 735

You deserved it 5 530

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sunroof because one of my coworkers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sunroof. To laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 416

You deserved it 42 456

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 917

You deserved it 6 945

Today, my girlfriend revealed she'd had an abortion. I wasn’t even aware she’d been pregnant, and she admitted it’s because my grandad and two of my siblings have autism, and she didn’t want to risk having an autistic child and dealing with the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 211

Same thing different taste

To each his own

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