"Order now and get a free grape whistle."

sounds romantic.

How the heck is he already your boyfriend and you'd never even been to his house????? Smh

That's a truly awesome sign to get away from a clingy significant other.

Hopefully, it was a prank... Otherwise hope you had your running shoes OP!

Depends if he plays video games down there. He could be "raping" the enemy team, which means you are winning!

I'm scared now.... :'(

yikes

Trigger warning, I suppose. No personal experience talk, but talk about rape culture itself: Sounds like OP's boyfriend, as well as a lot of people on FML, need to reevaluate their sense of humour. Rape is never funny. Rape fantasies are never okay. Maybe a person has a "rough sex" fantasy, and they mistakenly label it as a rape fantasy. They need to see the difference. If they really DO have rape fantasies, then they are absolutely disturbed. Rape culture is rampant throughout society, and because of that, the crime itself is often laughed off, the severity of it downplayed, the victims doubted or blamed. It's as bad as or worse than murder, because the offender is rarely caught, convicted, and punished, and the victim has to live with the experience for the rest of their lives. Just because you're left walking around on two feet afterwards doesn't mean that you haven't been murdered inside. Before anyone tries to say "stop getting so serious on FML, this is a light-hearted site!" I feel the need to point out that that's exactly why I'm getting serious here. People need to STOP making light of rape. OP, I suggest having a talk with him. Sometimes people just don't know that their "jokes" are offensive and unfunny. If you talk to him about it, and he still doesn't see a problem with it (or worse, he actually does harbour fantasies) then I suggest getting away from him.

He's so polite to warn you! Chivalry lives!