Miscellaneous: Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having...

By Spac3Ghost - 28/12/2009 17:08 - China

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 630

You deserved it 26 330

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 752

You deserved it 7 383

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 5 417

By nitroman64 - 30/07/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 877

You deserved it 28 295

By BIZZMAL - 05/01/2011 02:44 - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 32 631

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 835

You deserved it 37 147

Skittish

By sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - 12/07/2015 19:56 - United States - Killeen

Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 112

You deserved it 2 877

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 6 525

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 748

You deserved it 7 568

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 635

You deserved it 3 139

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 745

Muhfin 0

Monday 28 December 2009 23:23

Did we really need to know about talking to your gf about having kids??? FYL for being a dork

glasswater 0

Monday 28 December 2009 23:23

This is a) not an FML and b) horribly written and pretty much unintelligible. But from what I can deduce, you can't figure out revolving doors, which is sad. Don't think about having children again until you can figure out how to enter and exit a building.

Comments

poops3 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 7:26

I've been following FML for a year without signing up. I just signed up FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF COMMENTING HOW STUPID THIS ONE IS. HOW is this an fml? This is stupid. This is commonplace. Who DOESN'T run into doors on occasion? Ugh get this out.

nightsrequiem 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 19:56

Yeah, seriously...this has got to be the lamest FML I've ever read on here.

Compass 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 7:44

Don't revolving doors open both ways? At least the ones I've seen do.

bridgetoparadise 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 8:11

I cannot make sense of this. But you do sound like my flamboyantly gay male friend

lifesmysteries20 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 8:54

as i laughed at this, my lip split from being dry lol guess i'll get some chapstick before i laugh again

Spac3Ghost 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 17:38

lol =) FYL? =)

sophieneveu 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 9:31

i feel like this is a word problem and the first bit is the unecessary information that youre supposed to cross out.

AntiChrist7 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 10:23

You're gonna have some pretty stupid kids

elfranco_fml 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 13:26

#4 - if this is unintelligible to you, i pity you... btw OP... erm, yeh unlucky but i award you this EPIC FAIL token...

Spac3Ghost 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 13:57

hahaha ok well the point of the opening line was that it was a normal, alone, mature talk which did not deserve to get interrupted by a screaming friend trying to be funny =) but i guess it is useless, sorry =) it was meant to say "...having a mature conversation..." guess it got edited =/ haha yeah!! these chinese doors are wacko!! lol but it didnt spin me around =) my head managed to stop the momentum =) hey hey!! it wasnt that i couldn't tell how to navigate the entering and exiting of a building... i think i can =) its cuz i freaked out and bolted =) we were too close to the doors and by the time i saw where i was going, the door was all up in my face =) haha imagine you were talking about something calmly and you hear a scream and some luny is running to you with a machette? you're not gonna stand there for 20 seconds to assimilate what you're gonna do right? =) i tried running for cover =) just went the wrong way, which is funny cuz i ended up on the floor =) which that part got edited too =/ lol lol im glad some of you guys enjoyed my pain =) what does OP and "first" mean? =)

Broeman 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 14:38

That really doesn't explain much. It only gave me more questions. Why is this an FML? Why did you use smileys instead of, you know, punctuation? Why would you run away from a joking friend? Were you actually scared of him? How on earth did this FML get accepted?

Spac3Ghost 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 16:07

lol well i did smack my face ingo a glass door which was spinning really fast and i was running into it, get freaked out and yes i did run away =) haha =), i alwasys use smileys...its a habit...i really dont know hey?

morgaleigh 6

Wednesday 30 December 2009 2:46

He had a machette? and you ran away leaving your girlfriend to fend for herself from what you thought was a crazy person wielding a giant knife? Thats messed up dude, what if it had been real? I guess that just tells your girl what to expect from you when there is real danger.