Intimacy: Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 322

You deserved it 21 500

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

By bjfail - 09/01/2010 15:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 527

You deserved it 4 898

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 5 188

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 10 324

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 307

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 151

You deserved it 8 181

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 474

You deserved it 2 108

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 119

You deserved it 8 805

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 261

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 212

You deserved it 7 262

sarcasm_ftw 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:07

be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now

AmberHall 2

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:06

Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him

Comments

imkendra 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 21:59

I don't think it's good practice to insult a woman when you're inside her. Telling her to shut up and that her moans are "pig noises" is not a good way to ensure you'll have sex with her again.

jessxoxo28 5

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:01

LOL!!!!!!!!! ok, im sorry, but thats hilarious!!!! lol!!! at least he was honest.... lol!!!!!

zimmo 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:01

Could be he had a 'Deliverance'-like experience and pig noises freak him out...or he could just be a prude.

caprica_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:02

That's one way to kill the mood.

jillz 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:02

You seem very eager to please the boys. Perhaps he could have found better uses for your mouth that would have left your noisy self "speechless". YDI - keep your nasty mouth shut

lm_wfc 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:05

very good #10 *applause*

irawk 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:14

hahahahahahahahhahah. That sucks! Somehow, I imagine you looking like Miss Piggy from The Muppet Show!!

scorpioserpent 1

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:18

FYL if that is your natural moaning but YDI if you were faking and making fake obnoxious sounds

JonReb 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:20

**** him, seriously. He shouldn't control what noises come to you naturally.

SherwoodSpirit 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:22

"Today I was having great sex with a girl who was loving it, and I was a total jerk to her so she kneed me in the groin, broke my dick and kicked me out. FML"