Intimacy: Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 322

You deserved it 21 499

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 310

You deserved it 2 763

By bjfail - 09/01/2010 15:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 527

You deserved it 4 898

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 361

You deserved it 5 183

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 880

You deserved it 10 324

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 307

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 151

You deserved it 8 181

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 473

You deserved it 2 108

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 118

You deserved it 8 805

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 261

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 211

You deserved it 7 262

sarcasm_ftw 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:07

be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now

AmberHall 2

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:06

Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him

Comments

Paulak1219 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:53

You should moan like another animal. Maybe he dosn't like pigs..

lawlkat 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:57

****

mishel 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:17

LOL #10 I can't imagine it sounding like pig noises really...

ohsnapelenaaa 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:18

I don't blame him. It's bad to catch herpes in bed, but even worse to catch swine flu.

xabuko 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:55

Might want to tone it down a bit love!!!

FMLwrestler 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:03

Maybe if you were actually married to him (or at least DATING him), instead of simply just "seeing him", then he would treat you with noticeably more respect. But people who have premarital sex all the time with RANDOM PEOPLE aren't exactly the smartest tools in the shed, so I can't really expect you to get that logic, now can I? I find it ironic that you were making pig noises (was it an oink, a squeal, a snort, or a grunt?), when in reality you are a pig on the inside as well- can't ever get enough sex! piggy piggy oink snort! LOL

nodbor 11

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:05

he boinked ya, then he oinked ya

laurisshnazzy 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:39

Wow, 134. She was with one guy and you claim she "can't get enough sex?" Way to assume. Also, "seeing" someone can be another term for "dating." And for the record, hardly anybody is abstinent before marriage these days. We don't need a preacher here. OP, find a new man.

Emika_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 11:48

Wow, TMI FML. I clicked YDI just because I was pissed off that I had to read this early in the morning, and then my coffee-less brain forced me to imagine it, and of course in my mind you took on all the characteristics of some washed out mid-30s still-wannabe-teenager ******* her way through life and fulfilling that ridiculous cosmo stereotype of the "fun-loving woman", and then I had to think about all the other guys you slept with and I imagined them standing, chatting and reading newspapers, in a long line outside your door, through which piggish sounds of delight were echoing and it was a disturbing image to have in my brain so early and no one should be forced to have such thoughts and I BLAME YOU.