By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 328
You deserved it 1 601
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Top comments

alternative-facts 6

If he really wants to go that way, Jesus wouldn't appreciate you guys having sex at all, unless you were expressly trying to procreate. If your boyfriend is ok "wasting his seed" and fornicating for pleasure, he shouldn't be so hypocritical as to refuse to do it doggy style. Right?

131 2
Nabexis 9

Tell him that if Jesus really Cared what position people had sex in, there wouldn't be over 7 billion people on the planet.

92 3

Comments

Yudith 24

Just show him a bunch of Discovery Channel documentaries about the mating habits of mammals, then say "If God didn't like it this way, He wouldn't have horses, dogs, cats, mice, etc. use that position and no other."

9 0
species4872 19

The reason is that humans are the only ones that can dot it missionary style and as such people must do it missionary style to show that they are not animals. That is the religious logic for you.

4 0
RinoaHeartilly 36

Oooooooooooooh boooooooy. Be wary of more things like that if you're not as religious as him.

3 1
rivenrock 14

He's crazy. Jesus LOVES doggy style!

1 2
kikimajigger 12

Missionary is the only Jesus approved sexual position. It says so in Matthew chapter 29.

1 0
Zanquis 22

I think he is mixing up doggystyle and anal..

1 0
Zanquis 22

Go find a guy named jesus, preferable with the jesus looks. And have sex with him in doggystyle. Yes it involves cheating but if he is using jesus to deny you pleasure, what better comeback then saying: "jesus loved ******* me doggystyle"

4 1
AzrielB 8

"boyfriend" not "husband", I don't think Jesus would like that you're having pre marital sex... maybe tell him no more sex at all , that would teach him to pick and choose with Jesus

7 0
Peter Tersteeg 2

Perhaps Jesus would prefer reverse cowgirl?

11 0