Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started...

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

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Same thing different taste

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 831

You deserved it 42 645

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 070

You deserved it 4 922

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 931

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

By T1A2Z3 - 13/11/2018 03:00

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 401

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 329

You deserved it 5 796

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 903

You deserved it 11 994

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 44 099

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 1 741

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 217

MiniatureMayhem 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 16:09

Tell your mom you were enjoying a really good chocolate cake.

junying 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 16:11

Your girlfriend totally did that on purpose. :D

Comments

what_the_fail 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 3:50

Ur getting laid and your life is ******? Id like to see how.

murphythadog 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 3:53

you should have three wayed her mom in and gave her some anal. that will show her.

racerapj 10

Sunday 24 January 2010 5:19

I didn't laugh till I saw the gender 

kaybbyx3 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:05

good to know your girlfriend has class *rolls eyes*

bigdickprick 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:34

What kind of sick ******* guy wants to talk to their mom while ******* their girlfriend?

saladgirl123 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 14:07

haha

SuperHumanBeats 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 15:30

I thought it was bad when I thought you were a guy but then I found out you were a girl...with a dick... FML

ih8douches 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 18:23

so either it was a fake or you are a very strange "woman"

ChoclateDimondz 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 20:26

LOL YOU ARE SO SCREWED!!! wait you moaned like moaned? not cool

tyrellaraven 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 22:35

hahahahahahahaha that is priceless

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The Top

Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 5 516

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The Top

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You deserved it 4 299

Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 245

Today, we have a double driveway, but after my wife left, someone parked in my wife’s spot, presumably to avoid the public car park fee a few streets away. I called a tow company and very specifically asked them to tow the intruding red car, but they towed my black work truck instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 131

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 138

You deserved it 6 605

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 276

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 53 909