Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet....

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 71 462

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 998

You deserved it 10 483

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 741

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 4 415

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 129

You deserved it 12 913

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 853

You deserved it 18 701

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 544

You deserved it 19 408

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 6 270

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 3 500

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 097

You deserved it 7 596

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 6 828

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

Noname7453 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 22:49

Win, best clean up

fAiRyMaN3 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:00

I've heard that one before. on FML you suck and you're not original

Cporter1722 5

Saturday 30 April 2011 4:16

um I didn't really wanna know that, but my fault for reading lol YDI

cel514 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 8:12

reading this makes me uncomfortable :

dakins 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 9:49

Y IS THIS NOT THE TOP RATED FML?!?

Evan2297 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 13:32

Remember, condoms prevent minivans.

gotmespinning 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:21

dumb ass!!! thats not even funny!!!

brmgirl123 0

Friday 17 June 2011 7:06

this is disgusting.

sirsocal 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 5:02

your psycho : /

poler10 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 20:48

jrkdjjf

amarv01 1

Saturday 9 July 2011 5:09

…

Keywords

Relatable Art Work Family Parents Kids Cats Animals Money Miscellaneous Health Skincare Neighbours Party Cops Crush Love Awkward Furniture Argument Embarrassing Cute Romantic Roommate Stuck Shoes Clothes I need your advice Mental health Insurance

The Top

Today, my daughter is such a greedy idiot. Her ex was voluntarily giving her over £1000 for the kid but she decided she wanted more, and dragged him to child support court. She’s now only getting about £500 and her ex, who formerly had a great relationship with her, now hates her guts. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 175

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 066

You deserved it 3 521

The Top

Today, I learned that I'm highly allergic to onions. I love onions and they're in literally *everything*. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 146

Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 956

You deserved it 8 622

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 99

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 157

You deserved it 2 582

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 7 177

Today, it's been a whole year since I have made any social interaction with anyone, and I don’t miss it, like… at all. The only person I have talked to is a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with schizoid personality disorder. I always knew there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 127