Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet.... - FML

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By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 337

You deserved it 71 468

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Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 014

You deserved it 10 489

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 356

You deserved it 744

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Spicy

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 4 417

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 139

You deserved it 12 915

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 18 704

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 553

You deserved it 19 418

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 6 273

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 591

You deserved it 3 501

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 111

You deserved it 7 603

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 495

You deserved it 6 837

Next

Top comments

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

DeeBaby74 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 14:12

Wow dude i think u should jus go gay!!

cubie21 7

Thursday 3 February 2011 14:36

wow. that's really sad.

angryamericanx 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 17:00

never trust a sock puppet, my cousin got herpes from one!

JayDaJew 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:00

Finnaly another person. You see mom im not a conplete social outcast. :-p

buggybeauty 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:15

how'd this get approved? whoever moderated it should be killed.

LOLSWAT 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:33

dont u mean "a COCKpuppet?"

musicchick1712 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 4:46

^^^ haha win

loveanna928 2

Friday 4 February 2011 3:51

omfg?!?! how does that work lmao . get a girlfriend , or when your feet are cold , wear your "gf"

phazon000 1

Friday 4 February 2011 4:49

great success

thebigslim 13

Friday 4 February 2011 5:58

The **** is wrong with you?!?!?!

duburich 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:18

hahaha wow so did you even take her out to dinner or a movie first? does she have a foot fetish? haha you are one cheap individual.. they make blow up dolls too Hahah (if you are that desperate) and don't worry just let your doll wear your current gf.. make it a threesome bahahaha

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The Top

Today, I was cockblocked by a machine. I'm in the hospital so I'm attached to the typical machines that monitor vitals, including heart rate. I fell asleep and had a sex dream which made my heart rate go up, which set off the beeping from the machine monitoring my vitals. Bam, I woke up, sex dream over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 236

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 17 017

The Top

Today, my "best friend" of over 15 years has decided to cut me out of her life. She asked me to loan her $7k to get a surgery for her 14 year-old dog. When I told her it would be far crueler to prolong the poor thing’s life, she called me a heartless bitch and refuses to ever speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 417

Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 121

Today, like every day, I made myself some coffee with my Keurig, but today I discovered a lot of mold growing inside it. I guess that explains why I've been so sick and feel like my lungs have been on fire the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 903

You deserved it 2 030

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 200

Today, despite having the choice of several bowls of clean water in the house, as well as puddles and ponds outside, my cat was drinking out of a pot I was soaking in the sink. She doesn’t seem to mind the taste of dish soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 115

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 897

You deserved it 6 136