Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet.... - FML

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 71 461

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 998

You deserved it 10 483

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 741

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Spicy

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 4 415

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 129

You deserved it 12 913

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 853

You deserved it 18 701

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 544

You deserved it 19 408

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 6 270

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 3 500

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 097

You deserved it 7 596

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 6 828

Next

Top comments

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

Whydoyouask 11

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:47

LMFAO!!! this is hilarious! XD loved the way you worded it OP! Im sorry to the people who dont get it and also dont appreciate thed fact that the OP just put himself out there for our shameless entertainment :P

Michaelkg 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:49

why are so many people "disappoint"? I'm just disappointed.

Alexxcunningham 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:34

#58 troll this newfag above you

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Wednesday 2 February 2011 18:42

Teh internetz r srs biznis

Zebidee 8

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:02

know your meme

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:51

Did your mum put googly eyes on it for you?

auzzrage 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:54

haha read that FML to :)

CleanseTheKraken 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:56

I'm, in all honesty, waiting for a therapist to comment on this.

underguarded 20

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:02

You must change girl friends often...

ininjaism 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:19

did she split or swallow.?? lmao

johnsmith 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:21

freakin hilarious dude love it

PeteyPablo12308 20

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:31

Oh dear. FYL OP

Enderspeaker 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:14

Reminds me of Towlie. Dried up **** rag!

glitchedgamer 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:18

Ffs people, this is fake.

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Keywords

Animals Cats Embarrassing Miscellaneous Argument Party Neighbours Love Awkward Cute Romantic Stuck Roommate Clothes Shoes Relatable I need your advice Mental health Cars Transportation Insurance Weird LGBTQIA+ Teenagers Health Work Cheating Food Clumsy First Dates

The Top

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 543

Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 478

The Top

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 216

You deserved it 38 395

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 366

You deserved it 3 524

Today, like every day for the past two years, my aged mother has sat complaining all day loudly about relatives who call too little or too much, about another package being a few days late, or her laptop and TV not working properly. All while I'm trying to quietly work from home. I'm about ready to jump off a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 114

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 025

You deserved it 11 439

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 962

You deserved it 22 588

Today, my girl sent me a naked booty pic, telling me not to be late home. When I got home, she was in dirty old sweatpants, too upset for sex because her celebrity crush died. Not in real life, in one of the TV shows she's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 265