Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet....

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 71 461

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Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 998

You deserved it 10 483

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 741

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 4 415

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 129

You deserved it 12 913

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 853

You deserved it 18 701

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 544

You deserved it 19 408

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 6 270

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 3 500

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 097

You deserved it 7 596

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 6 828

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

philzilla 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 14:42

op, did you snowball her?

MTZ8590 4

Wednesday 2 February 2011 14:51

THAT'S SO SAD! -.-

ShrukiantheMad 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 14:54

i am dissapointed in all of you for not getting the validity of internet memes.

thornfullessrose 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:02

are u kidding me dude? that's pathetic xD

ericownz101 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:04

i bet he cried the whole time.. still counts!

GawZ 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:08

it's called ************. sex is with a real girl.

MisterMuffinz 13

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:13

ummm.... ok then... was it good?

xStarKillerx 4

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:41

Did you talk dirty to her?

nocanhaz 4

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:53

If this is real, that is just creepy.

britmohn 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:59

creepy..

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The Top

Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 534

You deserved it 12 248

Today, I mistook a stranger in a supermarket aisle for an old friend and gave them a big bear hug from behind. Turns out, my "friend" was just now a very confused man in a very similar, but oddly specific jacket that I thought my actual friend had claimed he made himself. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 354

The Top

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 536

You deserved it 2 811

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 162

You deserved it 23 117

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 834

You deserved it 3 843

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 689

You deserved it 59 258

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 144

Today, I got unbelievably drunk and pissed in the corner of my room, all over a plug socket, which blew out the electrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 250

You deserved it 43 674