Intimacy: Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right... - FML

By anonymous - 19/02/2011 13:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 063

You deserved it 7 397

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 780

You deserved it 5 152

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Spicy

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 149

You deserved it 8 181

By Abyssal - 04/04/2011 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 187

You deserved it 11 923

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 296

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 277

You deserved it 875

Starfish

By WhyBother - 21/02/2021 05:02

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 932

You deserved it 12 632

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 17:58 - United States - Arlington

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 010

You deserved it 10 028

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 496

You deserved it 5 019

Next

Top comments

missjessicaaaa 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 19:52

now I'll never think of the word "abracadabra" the same way

grrrkgrrrl 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 19:56

At least he did not shout avada kadavra.

Comments

ComicDoodler 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 21:40

Lovely. XD It's moments like that that make my heart go out to others and pray the offending parties were at least drunk and not in a coherent state of mind.

NadiG7 2

Monday 28 February 2011 16:42

LMBOOOOO OHHH MYYYYY....

Lillywhite7 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 15:06

That is hilarious

Flash99 1

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:45

lol that is hillarious I'm gonna have to use that one

ulicksam 0

Monday 7 March 2011 13:45

OP, get a sense of humor. It must be heaven living with you.

lunkness_monster 0

Monday 21 March 2011 9:34

At least he didn't hudini you..

Chipmunk1994 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 19:15

that is pretty funny

aly143 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 8:18

so i was reading this and right after i read abracadabra my little sister ripped one in her sleep.

epicgain 0

Monday 9 May 2011 4:55

abracadabra I will now pull my rabbit out of your hat

josejg 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:13

and wait for it..... SPLASH :)

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The Top

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 574

The Top

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 43 976

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 598

You deserved it 4 111

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 789

You deserved it 32 930

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 313

You deserved it 28 812

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 208

Today, I overheard a waitress calling me a cheapskate because I left a $2 tip on a $9 tab. When I told her she was ungrateful, rude, and unprofessional, she burst into tears and told the manager I’d threatened her. I was then banned from the restaurant, all while the little twat smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 237