Transportation: Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's...

By friendly_neighbourhood_psycho - 19/08/2011 22:47 - Sweden

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 9 394

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Same thing different taste

By yoyyo - 07/11/2016 06:29 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 116

You deserved it 1 340

By wtf - 16/06/2016 06:02 - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 277

You deserved it 5 912

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 106

You deserved it 3 666

By Z - 03/07/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 833

You deserved it 14 275

What the F, lady?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 00:49 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 2 500

Be careful, please!

By WolfsScar - 08/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 553

By MyLife - 03/03/2019 12:00

Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 198

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 101

You deserved it 970

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 30 098

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 5 417

muhaidib 2

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:31

Wow, I think you might need to look for another crush...

skinthesnakes 6

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:44

she now has 3 reasons not to ever make a joke about you again.

Comments

skinthesnakes 6

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:44

she now has 3 reasons not to ever make a joke about you again.

cBlackout 13

Saturday 20 August 2011 9:47

Call me psycho... One more time.

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

Saturday 20 August 2011 9:49

1. Beware, you will end up with broken bones. 2. Is for the next person to comment..

krysxkatastrophe 14

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:45

You can't tell them it was an accident?

perdix 29

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:52

CTFD, you're just a bitch and a klutz.

zembof 3

Sunday 21 August 2011 12:47

No ur a bitch

hogs3212 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:53

Did u still get to eat?

Amrel 10

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:54

Just forget about your crush its a little late

slipperyeyebrow 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:54

it's okay your crush probably has a bloody hand job fetish.

IndiRae 9

Saturday 20 August 2011 7:47

Bloody hand hand job fetish? That's majorly ****** up. Where does the blood come from? Thanks. I will be up all night pondering this.

CryMoreFMLs 14

Saturday 20 August 2011 22:00

Indi, it's a common fetish among cannibals. It's the reason homeless people dissapear off the streets.

BitchesBeHatin 1

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:55

I say this is a win. Karmas a bitch and look at the bright side, shes not going to be crackin anymore jokes.

Havin 19

Saturday 20 August 2011 11:09

Totally agree!!

Ashleigh_Kae 11

Sunday 3 May 2015 5:17

#34 I love you.

c0c0_fml 16

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:59

Sure it was an accident ;)?

xrainbowshadowx 17

Saturday 20 August 2011 6:00

It was just an accident. Don't worry OP, they'll forget about it soon enough, and when they'll look back at it, they'll laugh about it.

ugottaluvme 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 6:08

Except the girl with three broken fingers, and OP, an he crush... So i dont think anyone will look back and laugh.

Buttsexpirate 9

Saturday 20 August 2011 6:09

Well it was probably you screaming "Bitch!" at the top of your lungs before slamming the door that caused that reaction.

Keywords

Cats Animals Awkward Work Embarrassing Christmas Health Anniversary Boredom Love Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Transportation AITA Drunk Am I overreacting? Parents Kids Gun control Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Food Miscellaneous Family

The Top

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 482

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 881

You deserved it 32 420

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 323

You deserved it 4 448

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 181

You deserved it 12 099

Today, I had a doctor's appointment because I've recently lost weight. I'm already underweight, and I was concerned because the weight loss has been causing some other health concerns to worsen. My doctor's exact words of advice? "Eating food usually leads to weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 355

Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 169

Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 092

You deserved it 418

Same thing different taste

What the F, lady?

Be careful, please!

Roadworthy

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