Miscellaneous: Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my...

By scaredypants123 - 07/03/2014 15:41 - United States

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 453

You deserved it 9 170

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 563

You deserved it 29 187

Spooked

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 05:08

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 6 777

By nataliepaige - 19/07/2011 04:43 - Canada

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 688

You deserved it 12 359

By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 06:57 - United States - Baxter

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 250

You deserved it 7 602

By OrlandoZ6 - 25/05/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I was laying down on my couch. My friend IM's me on my laptop to watch a video. It turned out that the video was one of those scary pop up's. I got so scared I dropped my laptop. The screen had a big crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 529

You deserved it 10 670

Old school

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 10:00

Today, our internet is down so I told my daughter to watch a DVD instead. She looked at me dead in the face and asked what a DVD was. To think I even remember VHS tapes. Damn I’m getting old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 153

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 739

You deserved it 8 480

Hangry DVD

By Krazydude1000 - 03/01/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that my old DVD player had stopped reading my DVDs. I had the dumb idea to stick my finger in there to see what the problem was. I found the problem, which was that my fingernail wasn't on my finger after doing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 2 168

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 487

You deserved it 6 968

By burnnotice - 19/09/2009 14:10 - United States

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 229

You deserved it 57 340

nick347b 6

Friday 7 March 2014 17:55

Don't worry, OP. We're all still kids at heart.

AH1Zviper 15

Friday 7 March 2014 17:57

I guess your manhood was... terminated.

Comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 8 March 2014 18:40

Put a little swatch of masking tape over the lights.

operator47 10

Monday 10 March 2014 19:38

Only natural.

mkayden 23

Monday 10 March 2014 20:45

You should actually be scared of the Sherminator

PunkySpunky78 15

Tuesday 11 March 2014 10:26

To op At lest you don't know about the moth man now that is creepy

hateryanwoods 4

Wednesday 12 March 2014 6:02

how can you be scared of the terminator? Arnold S is all muscly and nice, how?!?

clumsyninja13 21

Friday 17 April 2015 0:51

Cmon grow up my 6 year old niece loves those movies

DoomSkuller 28

Friday 18 September 2015 5:29

Nah, not a Terminator, just a Decepticon.

connorhperkins 9

Sunday 19 June 2016 7:04

Well who isn't?

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Today, I learned a state senator is pushing a law to prosecute women for murder if they have an abortion, even out of state. Miscarriages would be investigated for aggravated assault, and if deemed unintentional, life insurance benefits would still be denied. I fear for the women in my county. FML

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You deserved it 181

Today, my sister asked me if "the worst comes to the worst" she could come and live with me here in the UK. She's in the US, and due to all the shit that's going on over there, her health insurance and job security are on the line. Weirdly, all her "yeehaw MAGA" posts have disappeared from her socials. I wonder why… FML

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You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, my wife’s step-sister asked if she could join us in a three way. My wife actually said yes, but we’re both gym addicts so I like toned girls like my wife, so even though her sister is a lovely lady, I'm not going to be able to get a boner for someone 10 stone overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 1 226

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 235

You deserved it 23 013

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 384

You deserved it 3 716

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

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You deserved it 2 668

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

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You deserved it 3 721

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 292

You deserved it 52 256