Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while,...

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 036

You deserved it 5 994

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Same thing different taste

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 209

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 042

You deserved it 5 426

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 556

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 731

You deserved it 10 556

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 465

You deserved it 9 862

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 5 604

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 636

You deserved it 31 360

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 218

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 710

6tori6 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way

Comments

Feveryoneslife13 11

Saturday 2 March 2013 14:03

First time I made out with someone and realized they had an erection I yelled too. Probably not for the same reasons

Quiet_one 22

Saturday 2 March 2013 16:35

Yeah, the first time that happened to me I got pretty freaked out too. I didn't yell- I actually tried not to draw attention to it, but he still noticed my reaction and it was super awkward. I eventually got better.

Fsvb 32

Saturday 2 March 2013 14:41

Often, on sites like 9gag, you've got these pictures with 'women logic' and other stereotypical posts about women being idiots and I hate it, because I don't know women like that and am not like that myself, so I defend against it. But then I read things like this and lose hope T_T

BeccaHornsby 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 15:09

she was on her period then!

hugozac88 22

Saturday 2 March 2013 15:54

Why would she even grab his crotch if she didn't want him to assume sex is going to happen? Not saying it is because of that but come on she grabbed his junk! It would be weird if he didn't get one.

silverstream20 20

Saturday 2 March 2013 16:08

It seems your girlfriend might be intimidated by sex. If this is the case don't take it too personally try to talk to her about it.

DarthVader77 9

Saturday 2 March 2013 17:11

Marry her. She is surely the one to make you happy for the rest of your life :)

RaulGarcia30 10

Saturday 2 March 2013 18:28

I don't think women realize we can't always control a boner, once it's coming up, it's gonna come up.

skatoolaki 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 16:40

Any woman who doesn't realize this is just naive or ignorant. It's sad for her and the poor bloke she's with.

disGRUNTled123 2

Saturday 2 March 2013 18:58

Preposterous how dare you get a boner when she's rubbing your dick! -_-

Relenaz 9

Saturday 2 March 2013 19:01

She sounds pretty naive. Guys get boners all the time. It doesn't mean they always want sex every time they have one. It just means they have healthy blood flow there *cough*. Nothing wrong with being healthy. ;)