Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while,...

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By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 048

You deserved it 5 995

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Same thing different taste

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 211

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 784

You deserved it 4 561

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 113

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 054

You deserved it 5 435

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 645

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 798

You deserved it 10 570

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 485

You deserved it 9 868

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 5 610

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 640

You deserved it 31 365

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 228

6tori6 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way

Comments

ViviMage 39

Saturday 2 March 2013 7:15

I'm a girl and I know men usually have a reflex action, and a gentleman can ignore it when required.

Raesin 21

Saturday 2 March 2013 14:28

You're obviously a very young girl. A penis doesn't ask permission to get hard, it just does and judging from this FML, OP was 'being a gentleman', it was his girlfriend that fondled his crotch and got angry when it was hard. It wouldn't surprise me if you were OPs girlfriend.

nnnope 26

Saturday 2 March 2013 18:03

I'm a girl and I know you're an idiot.

love_me_electric 20

Saturday 2 March 2013 22:23

The whole point of a reflex is that you can't control it. You can't grab a guy's dick and then get mad when he gets hard. It's like tickling someone and getting mad when they laugh.

misataylor86 10

Saturday 2 March 2013 7:17

How dare you have an erection while making out with her hand on your crotch!! ;-)

MissAmz 7

Saturday 2 March 2013 7:17

Of course you're going to get a boner. It's a normal human response to stimulation! I know that 90% of boners guys get are purely involuntary.

ClippersFan310 4

Saturday 2 March 2013 7:26

Well at least you.don't have E.D!

kodaskye 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 7:52

This stuff seriously makes me mad. For one, why was she going for your crotch if she didn't want it to go anywhere? Secondly, I would be way more pissed if my guy didn't get a bonar when I was kissing him! Thirdly, it is very rude to make someone feel bad for their sex drive. I have a very low sex drive, and my partner has an abnormally high sex drive. If I don't need any attention I will just take care of her and we're both happy.