Love: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 495

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 809

You deserved it 3 097

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 329

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

By Noname - 04/02/2009 11:23 - Canada

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 094

You deserved it 38 828

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 143

You deserved it 482

By peace_lost - 29/06/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 769

You deserved it 16 180

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 3 567

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 339

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 268

alkanechain 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 23:45

You got c**kblocked by a p***y?

tigrouficele2012 44

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:33

Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.

Comments

Ky_123 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:07

f**k yo cat h*

XxPLAYMAKERxX 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:08

You should of have started playing with "her" cat....O_o

fakepolice 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:14

****... Blockin... B1tch!!! That's 4 for Dave!!!

fakepolice 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:16

Fml iPhone apps suck... Hard

NotVeryOriginal 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:18

tsk tsk tsk your girlfriend stroked the pussy before you did

TrollTrollTroll 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:24

I JUST HAD A ******!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tigg3r 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 5:28

and the world needs to know this because? tranquilizer anyone?

Condie31 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:29

**** blocked by your own kitty... dang

tigrouficele2012 44

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:33

Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.

myfriend_youfail 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:35

Rule 14 of owning pets: If you want to have sex or make out with your partner, SHUT THE DOOR.

wh4t3v3R 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:21

Seriously, been there, if you don't appease the cat it will often start playing with anything flopping about, or you know how they like to sit on a book your trying to read? Yeah, this could have been way worse, just close the door.

myfriend_youfail 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 2:38

"anything flopping about" My mind just went to somewhere filthy as I imagined the kitty going all ninja-attack-warrior on the guy's exposed shlong. xD

helloxmygoodbye 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 6:56

True, but shutting the door wouldn't stop my cat. If my door is shut and he wants in he will just paw at it until I either throw something at the door or open it.