Love: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About...

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 595

You deserved it 6 499

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 3 099

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 334

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 100

By Noname - 04/02/2009 11:23 - Canada

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 096

You deserved it 38 830

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 151

You deserved it 483

By peace_lost - 29/06/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 771

You deserved it 16 185

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 467

You deserved it 3 567

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 162

You deserved it 341

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 28 648

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 273

alkanechain 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 23:45

You got c**kblocked by a p***y?

tigrouficele2012 44

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:33

Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.

Comments

flyintonite 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:45

Cats are cool... no fml here.

BlackWolfVII 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:52

Soooo...you just got cockblocked by a pussy?

CJ090 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:23

U douchebag I was about 2 say that lolz

icedrake523 2

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:02

YDI. Guys aren't supposed to have cats.

joanjett 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 5:52

Cats are ******* adorable. And the ladies love it.

little_otter 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:04

yeah, your life is a horrific tangle of distress and agony isn't it, submitter?

NotVeryOriginal 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:06

no more "**** blocked by a pussy" jokes #6 beat you ******* to the punch

little_otter 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:07

HEY GUYS, IS THIS WHERE I COME TO POST A CLEVER PUSSY JOKE??

Yarrachel 16

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:11

I call fake. This happened to my father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate 42 years ago. You stole this story!!

Subtext 10

Thursday 17 December 2009 2:19

Nice :)

Thefog 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:13

At least she got some pussy

iljajlm 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:18

This is a completely stupid FML. It's not an FML at all. God forbid you stop making out with your girlfriend for a few minutes. Now if she said "This cat is cuter than you, I'm dumping you and taking him with me." and ran out of the room now THAT'S an FML. But this? No. It's stupid.

GreenRupee 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 1:28

*sigh* Yeah, so? She probably likes the cat, that's all. My last girlfriend couldn't stop to cuddle my dog. FYL just because you didn't have sex? Grow up.