Love: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 496

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 809

You deserved it 3 097

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 329

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 100

By Noname - 04/02/2009 11:23 - Canada

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 094

You deserved it 38 829

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 144

You deserved it 482

By peace_lost - 29/06/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 769

You deserved it 16 180

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 3 567

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 339

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 636

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 268

alkanechain 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 23:45

You got c**kblocked by a p***y?

tigrouficele2012 44

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:33

Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.

Comments

Stumblebum30 5

Thursday 17 December 2009 9:08

Obviously you either weren't very good at what you were doing so the Cat was of more interest or she's not that into YOU.

cmac86 23

Thursday 17 December 2009 10:36

I think this may be the only time I can ever say this and have it make perfect sense: "*******: the ultimate ****-block. "

Heaven666 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 15:03

lol the only thing to stop you getting pussy is a pussy ok bad joke xD

NyronNosworthy 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 15:48

Who from the UK says "making out" or "petting", I've never heard that over here...

monnanon 13

Thursday 17 December 2009 15:58

im from the UK and i say petting in relation to petting my cat or dog. Making out could be said but it depends how young the OP is or if he was just using something so most people on the site would know what he meant.

crash52181 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:41

Dude you totally got cockblocked by the pussy! Haha! I'm sure this was said already and I swear I didn't read through the comments!

sistersestina 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:33

Probably because she knows that it's rarer to get attention from a cat than from a horndog.

munim 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:54

hahahahaha.. i couldn't stop laughing after reading this.

tschoiuss 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:01

Time to get a new girlfriend!! seriously!!!!

Letomi 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:06

It's not that you're getting cockblocked by a cat... I think the true FML here is that you're obviously not very good at kissing or making out and your gf is looking for any excuse to stop.