Transportation: Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a...

By ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 756

You deserved it 3 023

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Same thing different taste

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 490

You deserved it 2 082

On the run

By Airplane crap - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 486

You deserved it 4 228

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 2 301

GrossAir

By Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 185

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 649

You deserved it 2 923

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 432

By Tireddddddd - 31/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 547

You deserved it 3 437

Avoidance tactics

By busrides - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 5 811

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 067

You deserved it 1 747

Unwarranted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 732

You deserved it 16 142

Jake221 0

Friday 21 August 2009 20:03

I feel sorry for you :(. Thats what Ipods are for. FYL.

flinkpamingo 0

Friday 21 August 2009 21:18

You should have listened to the older women. You might have learned something.

Comments

Fstrthnu90 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:03

What are you talking about?! Listening to old women talk about their teenage sex lives sounds awesome!!!

kingofbishop 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:21

why do people complain about flying? your flying, humans aren't meant to fly. can't you just appreciate the fact that you are flying?

MadeOfAwesome 1

Friday 21 August 2009 22:25

I've gone on a 17 hour flight before. That alone is an FML. You REALLY should have brought an iPod with you though. That was poor planning on your part. Still, FYL ):

SaintJimmy 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:33

Next time, get a private jet that serves you mint julep and strippers on a silver platter.

giganticbrain 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:40

Agreed.

BeccaBek 0

Friday 21 August 2009 23:34

mmmm....strippers served on a silver platter. :P

Struedelmuffin 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:37

Hahahahaha! You should have ordered a bag of peanuts and lured the fat monk away to anoter seat with them. Then you should have "accodentally" bump the creepy old ladies so they fall and slide down the aisle of the plane. No more problems! :D

MCofpwnage 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:48

(Straight face) DUDE! There were two chicks discussing about sex! When they were teens! That's the time to get a laptop and some **** and wait for an orgy.

HahaYDI 0

Friday 21 August 2009 22:59

ask for another seat...why waste 17 hours, Im sure they would let you

boredinjp 15

Saturday 22 August 2009 0:52

Sounds fake - there are not many 17 hours flights, you can't sleep for 17 hours, and you can't keep talking for 17 hours - the OP greatly exaggerates.

Unlucky_Gun 0

Friday 20 April 2012 3:34

Not many still means there are some and OP happened to be on one of them. Believe it or not there are planes that can fly for 17 hours without refuelling so OP wasn't exaggerating